Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just puked most of my soul out..
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