Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
