I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I love you. Go after that dick
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
