I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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