Whod you bang
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
