As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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