I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
