WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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