I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
