Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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