Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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