sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
