she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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