im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
