don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
