There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
P.S. I can't hear my feet
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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