I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
