I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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