you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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