did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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