I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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