I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
