The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
