I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
