Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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