yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
