oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
