I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
