He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
