Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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