I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
