sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
