i love accidental penises.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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