Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we made out on top of his cat.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
