i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
