I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
