why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
