PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize