This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
