id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
