bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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