just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
