so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
