Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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