I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
