Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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