Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
