ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
