Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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