I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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