he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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