Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
