well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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