no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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