That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
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