Ambien. No doubt about it.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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