"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
