try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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