marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
