Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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