I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
