I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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