NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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