what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
