I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
